I guess you would expect a Coach to be writing about goal setting at this time of year- the flip of the Gregorian Calendar and the arbitrary start of a New Year, unless you are Chinese, or the UK Tax system……it is just a made up date we have agreed to after all, although I suppose it is mid-Winter so an appropriate time to be looking forward.

So- New Year, New You??

What was wrong with the old you?!

What are your New Year’s Resolutions? Do you want to be slimmer, fitter, richer, happier, improve your relationship, spend more time doing what you love, learn a new language?

Well stop right there.

New Years Resolutions do not work.

In fact goal setting also does not work when it is coming from the wrong place.

So, this is an invitation to do things differently this year.

This is an invitation to look in a different direction.

The thing with New Years Resolutions is that they are coming from a mind set of lack- “I have enough business, but I want MORE”, “I have a healthy functioning body but I want it to look DIFFERENT” “I have a good relationship but I want it to be BETTER”. Do you see what I mean?

More. Different. Better.

There is nothing wrong with wanting something different, but if you believe that having these things are going to make you feel better about yourself or your life then that is where you are innocently mistaken.

A constant searching and seeking for a different feeling- we don’t like how we feel now and we want to feel better, and it looks like all these goals are where the source of better lies.

It is the old destination addiction syndrome- I will be happier when….I will feel more secure when…..I will feel better about myself when……I will have more peace of mind when.

A dog chasing his own tail.

You already have all the better feelings you are chasing, but in the chase you are not looking inside where they already exist underneath the layers of dissatisfied thinking you have piled on top of them.

Fall in love with NOW.

If you are trying to create something new, change behaviours, install new habits from a sense of dissatisfaction then more dissatisfaction is what you will create. But….if you are visioning a happy and excited future from a happy and excited present what might you create then?

Learn to love the good, the bad and the ugly.

Learn to love and appreciate everything exactly as it is.

Psychological suffering only ever comes from resisting what is and wanting something, someone, circumstances or our self to be different.

This is the mind-set of unbroken peace of mind, of happiness, of satisfaction – it is not a destination to get to, it is who you are now when you drop the stories of not having enough- and from that place new things happen.

Your mind gets clearer.

You seem to notice new opportunities.

There is a new unfolding of life without masses of effort.

A life lived of consciously appreciating.

It seems to me that the only resolution worth making is to understand who you really are- the one behind the noise, behind the lack, behind the seeking and searching.

The one who already has everything they need.

If any of this resonates with you and you would like to continue the conversation on the understanding of the mind and learn more then please email me on alisonclarke@actioncoach.co.uk, call me on 07713626673 or come over for a coffee on me and let’s have a chat.