Networking – a word to fill many with dread.
Being asked to ‘network’ is often held in the same terror as ‘could you do the presentation for me’? If you think about what the act of networking means in the cold light of day it is a relatively harmless activity – turn up, meet people, talk, drink, pick up business cards, leave – ‘simples’.
However in reality it is the aspects of networking which could go wrong, or have gone wrong in the past, which ensure that many concentrate on the negative side of networking rather than the positive results derived from it. Aspects like:
Have I worn the appropriate outfit?
Will I know anyone there?
Will people think I am boring/pushy/stupid?
What will I talk about?
Will I be stuck on my own outside all the conversations?
Will I recognise the host/hostess/anyone?
Will I feel like an outsider?
Can I keep the conversation going?
Can I hold a drink and nibbles plate at the same time without spilling everything?
There are many more, but all these fears are compounded when you arrive and find yourself in the room. If you haven’t prepared the answers to some of the questions posed above beforehand then trying to make it up ‘in the heat of battle’ will be even more difficult and stressful. As a result the impression you give to people you meet can often be unprofessional, disorganised, nervous and stressed. Not a great advert for you if you were hoping they might do business with you at some point.
Perhaps rather than thinking about how you should perform at networking events it might be easier to reflect on the usual suspects you meet and decide what characteristics you like, or aspects you would prefer to ignore about them, and why?
- Drifter – Seems keen to meet you. Has an enthusiastic hand shake with a confident opening statement and a great memory for names and small talk. Is usually smartly dressed and appears interested in what you have to say. However, within a couple of seconds of finding out that you are, unfortunately, of no interest to his/her business the gaze moves quickly away from your face to over your shoulder, looking out for the next likely suspect. A fast excuse is given and you are left to your own devices again. They can be spotted working the whole room in this fashion.
- Clinger – Often found on their own at the edge of the room checking out their phone, or standing on their own between groups of networkers. More hesitant handshake, often nervous, a slower conversational technique and frequently unsure what subjects to talk about. As soon as they find out you are friendly and can keep the conversation going with no effort on their part then they will settle in for the remainder of the event. If you are too polite to make your own excuses then you will still be rooted to the spot at the end with no drink and no nibbles, and will know his/her dog’s name and how many times they have been to Orlando and which rides they prefer – and which year they rode them!
- Mixer – Usually a more mature networker. He/she knows everything – everyone who is attending, every name you bring up in conversation and all the networking events you have never heard of. They are usually loud, very happy with their opinions and (over) dressed to impress. They make it their business to get your card, but as they are collecting cards from everyone in the room it doesn’t necessarily make you feel any more valued! He/she will invariably be interrupted by, or will interrupt, another networker at some point during your short conversation so the encounter will be mercifully brief as a result. It is common for you to never hear from them again.
- Natural – Will smile when they greet you, firmly shake your hand and engage in light conversation to start with – laced with gentle humour and real interest. In no time at all they will have found out who you are, what you do and will have thrown in a few useful bits of information which you desperately try to commit to memory on the spot. They only let you know what they do when asked – and do it in such a way that you are keen to know more. They seem at ease in conversation, in their clothes and in their body language. They have time to talk and their gaze is always on you – listening throughout. Their excuse to leave will sound like it is very reluctant, and they will remind you of the call they will be making to you later in the week before they go (which they will). You are left wishing you could have talked for longer.
It is not difficult to work out which of these four networking types is the most enjoyable to meet and often turns out to be the most useful to follow up with too. So if you enjoyed meeting the ‘Natural’, why wouldn’t you want to behave like them when you network?
So, ten steps to improve – enormously:
- Dress in something you feel comfortable in, AND suits the occasion.
- Take business cards, but ensure you get theirs – often more important.
- If you are on your own, head in with confidence, walk up to the first person/group and say ‘Can I join you?’ – you are in the game!
- Smile when you meet and shake hands naturally.
- Ask questions – find out more about them first.
- Prepare what you want to say as your opening reply to the question ‘What do you do?’ Make it both interesting and obtuse enough that they want to know more.
- Listen – and react to what you are hearing by delving deeper, or extending the subject.
- Ensure you never outstay your welcome – BUT not before you make your well prepared reason to move on. . .
- Ask for a business card and tell them you will call them.
- After the event – CALL THEM!
Networking may never be enjoyable for you, but it will be much easier if you follow these simple steps.
Be the one you enjoyed meeting – be the natural!
Robert Firth
Certified Business Coach and Mentor
