Does it feel as though you’re on Auto Pilot?
At the end of last year I read several articles that discussed the physical and mental impact that the pandemic has had on us. In particular the discussions were around people running on empty, dealing with increasing levels of stress and anxiety, which can lead to burn out and a deadening of our emotional responses. Ultimately it may seem as though you’re living your life on auto-pilot.
In order to move on from these feelings you need to start by understanding that the way we react to the curve balls life throws at us all comes down to our individual values, attitudes and beliefs. Not sure what am I talking about? Then have a look at my iceberg blog. They are the reasons we often leave challenging tasks undone, react badly to constructive criticism, or lack the self-belief that we can overcome a particular difficulty.
Most of us tend to react (act again) as we go through life. We react to other people’s ability to “push” our buttons, or to situations without operating in the here and now. In other words we focus on how a certain situation is making us feel rather than dealing with the problem at hand. Our reactions come from our long held attitudes, beliefs, expectations, prejudices, values or emotions. You might feel anxious about your up coming job appraisal because in the past a line manager has been overly negatively critical of your performance, and this might cause you to react in a negative way to the feedback you are given. It’s important to understand that when we react from the history of our past, we are at risk of:
-
over-reacting
-
under-reacting
-
reacting inappropriately
-
reacting too quickly
-
reacting too slowly
Any of these responses to any set of circumstances or people are doomed to cause continued stress, anxiety, and continued, un-resolved personal feelings.
When we react without being totally conscious or before we’ve taken the time to reflect on the situation we’ll often say or do things we regret later.
The next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, rather than reverting to previous behaviours, you might like to try some of the strategies below.
-
Take a quality pause, a brief 2-3 second break where you say to yourself – I do have a choice. I can react the way I normally would have to this situation, or I can choose to react differently. With the quality pause you can get out of auto-pilot and into the present.
-
Develop the habit of counting to 5, slowly, before you speak or act as a result of a stimulus.
-
Give someone you are close to the permission to alert you (make you aware) each and every time you react without pausing or taking the time to think through your response.
-
Create personal anchors (a personal reminder) that automatically kicks in every time you find yourself losing emotional control. Thought-stoppers work well here. What’s a thought-stopper? An example might be to place an elastic band around your wrist…one about a quarter of an inch wide…and each time you find yourself moving into negative thought, or losing emotional control…just pull the band back and let it go. Whatever you were thinking about will be gone in a flash.
-
Another way is to simply shout “stop” loudly to yourself…making sure you won’t embarrass yourself in public. Even though you do the shouting, and you knew you were going to, it still jars your thinking enough to let you think and behave more positively.
Living life on auto-pilot is to live incompletely, to live in the past.
And that’s worth thinking about… after all if you’re able to shift your mindset from reacting in the way you always do to the situations that cause you stress and instead pause, review the situation and objectively find a way forward that’s a much more positive and pleasurable way to live your life.
Don’t deal with today’s challenges based on your decisions and experiences of the past, they are possibly no longer relevant..
Need help to change your mindset then let me help.
Click here to Book a Free 1 Hour Coaching Session and let’s get you on the right track
