How has trauma shaped your mindset?
We have all faced negative experiences that affect our relationships and how we deal with challenges. These can be anything from a difficult upbringing, school struggles, systemic oppression or a single traumatic event. As difficult as early traumas are, these experiences can provide us with some useful resources to deal with future challenges. So how can we make use of them?
For our Big Friday Finish webinar on 30th September, we were joined LIVE on YouTube by Vinny Shoreman, Timeline Therapy Practitioner, NLP Practitioner and Fully Qualified Hypnotherapist. Vinny has dedicated his life and career to helping people with mental, emotional, spiritual and professional development. His aim is to be the best version of yourself for the sake of your work. Here are some of the topics he covered:
The fallout of the pandemic
The Covid 19 pandemic caused a lot of trauma, and not just because of the horrific things so many people faced. Everyone was unprepared and helpless and didn’t know what to expect or how to handle it. As a result, many people struggled with anxiety and hopelessness, and many pre-existing emotional struggles were magnified.
In any situation, people need to know what to expect in order to feel like they can cope. Without any pre-existing mental resources, it is easy to get stuck. This can be hard when going through a difficult situation you have never been through before, especially if no one else has been through it before either. But if you have never been through it before, does that automatically mean you are unequipped to deal with it?
Finding your inner resources
During a difficult time, you may only be able to see what you are feeling in the moment; what you are forgetting is the resilience you will have developed from previous struggles. This might be your first time surviving whatever you are currently going through, but it is not your first time surviving a challenge. When you think back to previous challenges, you may only remember that you overcame them. You might not remember how hard they were before you did.
We all have resources we can rely on – it’s remembering to look for them we sometimes forget. You can’t get caught up thinking about the problem; think about how you can overcome it. Imagine your brain is like a library. When you are having a hard time, it is the horror and tragedy books that are front and centre. But what about the self-help books? The triumph stories? The survival tips based on years of different experiences? Don’t just hold onto the memory of how hard a situation was, or even that you survived it. Instead, think about how you survived it, and what you learned that can help you right now.
Re-programming your mindset
If something is programmed in your mind, you expect to see it. This starts in very early childhood, when your early experiences shape your unconscious biases and thought processes. It is particularly common with unpleasant experiences and negative mindsets. After all, this is a survival strategy that is designed to help you stay safe. But how much power could you have in your life if you could re-programme into having a more positive mindset?
To find your inner resources, you need to condition your mind to look for them so you expect to see them. Whenever you question whether you can handle a challenge, answer that question with, “of course I can!” Better still, see if you can turn that into “of course I can, because…” If you know you can do something, it will help you do it. In a difficult situation, it is normal to not be ok all the time. The key is to not stay in that zone for too long.
To learn more about developing a healthy mindset, watch the Big Friday Finish on YouTube
